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I should have relationships and sex all figured out by now right? Now that is exposed, I want to tell you where I am now and seek some prayerful wisdom.

After all I am over half a century old with an adult son and a daughter in High School. Some advisers tell me that I need to wait until I am dead, well almost dead to start dating again.

Usually, this means that the person has not had a sexual act that involved penetration. Virginity is not a state of mind, but it is the conscious choice to not involve oneself in sexual acts until after marriage.

Usually, this excuse is used if someone wants to justify participating in sexual activity.

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This is even an order of magnitude greater in my opinion for divorcees my age. It can feel like time-traveling back to high school (or junior high for some of you). Remind yourself that you want to be faithful to God’s design for sexual intimacy, that you want to show respect and care for the woman you are dating, and that waiting has true benefits.Last Monday, I gave a general perspective of the situation, and you can read that post HERE. As Pastor James Mac Donald has often said, “When God says makes some things more bearable — like it’s hard for me to be upset about some of the little annoyances from my husband when he just brought me to ecstasy hours earlier. But when you’re dating someone, you need those glasses transparent so you can get to know this person and how you are together. Today, I want to get into specifics on staying sexually pure. After being married and having a sex life, it can feel excruciatingly slow to back everything up to holding hands, then a soft kiss, then a lingering kiss, and then a more passionate kiss . If you add sex into the mix, you’ll feel prematurely attached and less able to see them clearly. I realize it may feel like you don’t have that kind of time, but slow isn’t years. We cannot do this on our own, so seek out all the Christian resources you need to stay sexually pure. Tim and Jess had only been married for eight months, but the honeymoon was most certainly over. As I unpacked some of the couple's history, I discovered he hadn't sabotaged them on their honeymoon, nor in the early months of figuring out married life.The sweet conversations that once marked their relationship had been replaced with constant bickering. The Devil had begun his work before they'd even made it to the altar.

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